![]() I don’t feel the need to buy a motorcycle or get a tattoo (ink, maybe) but I do feel an overwhelming urge to create meaningful changes in my life. Is this what a mid-life crisis feels like? It’s a big number - a number I can’t quite comprehend. I can inject heart-rending emotion into my work because the pain of my heart being rent in two is etched into my soul. One minute I’m wise and stable the next, I’m curled up in my closet questioning every decision I’ve ever made.īeing capable of feeling deeply is a double-edged sword. I’m prone to mercurial mood swings that teeter on the edge of my mental health and power the engine of my creativity. I came across a meme the other day that hit me in the feels and it went something like this: I never wanted to run away as a kid as often as I do as an adult - and yeah, that struck a chord.īecause sometimes, when the pressure of adulting becomes unbearable, I fight the urge to walk out the front door and disappear.īut am I a responsible adult? Most days, probably. Sure, I do adult things - including but not limited to, paying bills, working, hiring a gardener, trying to be a good parent, and populating my bedding with more pillows than necessary - but most days, I feel like a kid pretending to do the things that I think adults are supposed to do. Maybe it’s the jaded mindset of my GenX generation but I thought I would feel more “adulty” by this point. I’ve reached the age when I thought I would feel more sage about life. I feel as if I’m careening through life like a pin ball, my trajectory solely determined by what I slam into as I try to avoid the sinkhole at the edge of the game. ![]()
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